Dinner with the divine Lorye.

Sharing whats true, uncensored and totally accepting of what is. Rolemodels, friends and family in these, my golden years....Gauri.

Also met with a fellow mover and shaker on the Oakland development scene...looking to collaborate...My consort, practical and creative...me, learning about whats possible and how to connect people, or at least read the connections, like a constellation in the night sky.

Shiva and Gauri sporting on the meadows of Mount Kailas. Consorts. I accept!

It's the DISEASE talkin':

Fantasy versus Reality

I woke up

and your place was empty

cold and dark

once again

I experienced small

vulnerable sad scared

looking for the One

to fill this place

the right side of my body barren

you've got a collection

of first time excitements

a collection of hearts

empty now

you are gone on to the next

Its easy this way

you can pretend it's brave

because it feels exciting

What's brave

is to stay

and have the darkness

arise and share

what scares and saddens

to share small

to add it up

do two small create a great?

We'll never find out....

Should I have known?

Well, I do now!

This "poem" came up and wanted to be seen this morning after a tremendous change in direction and feeling toward my life unfolding.

When relationships are clear and sound, I can be confident and loving, when they are hazy and unclear, I can't make decisions, let alone the right decision.

Things are clear again and I can move forward into the sunrise of a new life!

Grateful for my family and friends who enlighten the new beginning.

Grateful to Gurumayi and the serenity prayer to remind me to stay afloat in JOY.

May Abundance in Happiness and Joy be upon us

Abundance can come in many forms and my favorit is that of joy and happiness.

Time spent with my young family, in conversation, sharing our hopes and dreams.

A meal with a friend, grateful for nature's diversity, and the good company.

Taking a hot bath outdoors and laying cool under the changing sky watching the stars appear.

In meditation, when an answer pops up so naturally, to a question I've had many moons, perhaps lifetimes even.

In prayer, when grace takes place, and vaults me to a breakthrough.

So, here's a SHOUT OUT to ABUNDANCE and her lovely consorts,

may they come sport in my life for as long as I can appreciate it.

Muktananda Dhyana Saptah experience as a boon

The practice of meditation was one of Baba's greatest gifts after giving us Gurumayi as his successor.

I am looking forward to a day of deep deep meditation dotted with boons, gratitude and connection to the inner realm of th Heart.

Paying attention, giving it my best and receiving all that I need to move forward in this time of transformation and new life.

Thank you BABA, for your presence and Grace.

May we serve and love you in our Hearts every day in every way.

Pray for me

Pray for me...yes, you, Julia!

Remember.

And while life is moving forward in this scary and unstable time of transition and transformation just PRAY. For your own Heart!

THEN, you can give from that Heart, full and worthwhile.

Monday blues

Hey, ever since I am packing and doing MOnday with tasks, it's blue again. After being the Sunday, it's back to everyone's experience of the weekend being over and having a mile long list of ' to-do', never quite slowing down to see the sweet changes in season which are now beginning.

Tom invited me to collaborate on a picture story, using his hard earned formula and collaboration technique of using all the intimate, spiritual momentum of a friendship, and steer toward a successful art piece. Cool runnings. Really looking forward to the work.

Backing up all my photos while packing everything into storage.

Here are some photos of recent family get togethers and parties in general around this last full moon.

HAPPY RAKHI DAY!

Last day of the Full Moon...Tom sent the rainbow pics from last month. This one has the energy going straight up...the way that I feel like going in my aim and growth.

Here is what I've been contemplating today:

Just as fire is hot, dangerous and in the right proximity warming and nurturing, Love is infinetley more powerful.

In the right proximity, Love is heartwarming, nurturing and makes us grow, just like the sun does for everything on this earth. As long as we are in right 'relationship' with it.

If we get too close or dismiss it's power, we can really get hurt.

This is what is so important to realize.

Just as I was getting too close with a friend, to a place my heart has reserved for a significant parner, my heart asked: What the f... is this guy doing here?

He doesn't belong here...too dangerous...!

Get back to a safe distance. Understand and know the true context of this friendship.

It's not my friend who went too far, it is I, who is suffering from a disease and keeps beckoning danger because I feel so cold and alone.

When we are in committed relationships, such as family and marriage, lifetime friendships and the Guru Disciple relationship, Love WILL burn everything that keeps us from being close, true to our Self... and part of the team.

Like a kiln fires clay into a vessel that can hold water or nectar.

So, Julia, remember that everyone is given the right proximity and you have boundaries. Beautiful, healthy, translucent, shimmering, absorbent and wonderful boundaries. Which let all the nourishing, yummy Love through and absorb the malevolent influences to protect both, the source of the influence and your Heart.

This shield, this boundary has been given by my Guru in Ganeshpuri in 1989.

It's time I cultivated, celebrated and honored it.

Work only on the relationships which will take you across to the shores of pure de-Light.

Those are the ones worthy of your time and effort.

PREMI is your daughter, she KNOWS true divine Love. It's her name!

Accept, nurture and respond to her Love with LOVE!

YES, pure and simple...it's never too late.

Gurumayi IS divine Love.

Focus on Her teachings one pointedly. Do the practices she has so generously made available.

When a boy loves you, Julia, it's a beautiful thing.

Graciously receive and accept this love. Allow it to filter through the gorgeous, iridescent shield the Guru put up for you. Respond kindly.

Accept his protection!

HAPPY RAKHI DAY!

MOving...really

Distributing all the wonderful things that have been in my company for years...selling and giving.

Inviting people to my place for an apartment sale...with music and snacks...asking my guy friends to come help as security and price valuators...girlfriends to buy and help pack.

Thank Robert for his generous offering of storage space.

Life is perefct in that there is progress to be made staying in the process.

This full moon is unfolding strongly and filling everything with light.

This means that all the things which have been in the dark can be sen.

Fear and insecutrity.

Charecter defects and sly usurpers of my life energy.

Thanks to some friends, who are willing to do the hard thing of speaking the truth, I get to see it and let go...forgive myself.

REMEMBERING A GREAT SAINT!

Clay pieces in 2009

Full Moon budding

I can feel it...it's an eclipse.

Grateful for what i have and for everything that I don't have.

Keep doing my art!

Took photos of my new clay pieces to have with me on my travels...the actual pieces are staying with my mentor.

What I have learned today, is that when intimacy goes deeper and we get closer to each other's Heart, the work is to have fine and sensitive boundaries, that let in the beloved and at the same time support my soul to grow and move forward.

Boundaries made of such material, that absorbs fear and anger while at the same time allows Love and kindness to penetrate the Heart. Going both ways.

How is it that I still run around like a bully when I am so clearly delicate, sensitive and creative. How difficult can it be to stay light, kind, gracious and most of all LOVING?

What does it take to remember that friendship is what carries the entire gamut and loaylty is what floats it?

I pray for this kind of shield...for this kind of strength...to BE that friend!

Living Art at Night

Sunday Shree Guru Gita chant, outdoors, in the misty morning air.

The dialogue between Shiva and Parvati. Bloved and Teacher student relationship.

How is it that we are to understand the Guru Priciple?

Between the living master and the disciple.

Morning Poem by Saint Theresa of Avila:

" God stood at the shore of Himself and dove in.

How can he do things like that?

Anything goes with the Big Guy, I guess.

A divine splash happened, billions of drops were propelled into space.

I said to a drop shooting past me one night, " Where ya going, what's the hurry, slow down."

It did, and we talked for awhile, that drop and I;

some angels too came by.

There is more trafiic than you think - cruising. "

Transition time!

Last month on staff of the SYA in Oakland.

August 2009, the month of celebrating great company, the love of a true friend and art teacher. Creating a green business.

The "Trifecta" experience.

With the coaching of the divine Lorye, this blog now also turned into a photo reportage of said transition.

It will have a "Roses and Thorns" field...to note daily occurences as percieved by moi. With credit to the Obamas who brought this idea to my attention through a friend.

Lots of photos and quotes.